Dubbel Mono

dinsdag, maart 19, 2002

 
BuddyHead.com
is puberaal, kinderachtig, typisch Amerikaans en bij tijd en wijle erg grappig. Bijvoorbeeld hun maandelijkse toplijstjes:

Top ten ways to fight dirty in an alleyway

1) Unload a preemptive attack of lethal punches to the throat during the obviously understood 'name calling' and 'girlfriend dissing' stage.
2) Tell him that you left your six-pack of whoop ass back in your car. As you turn around to 'go get it', flail BACK around and kick him in balls.
3) Reveal to his drunken, shocked amazement that you're his half brother from new york. As he wonders why he looks more white Irish to your Asian walnut, body slam him.
4) Remind him that he owns more Sunny Day Real Estate cds than anyone else you know in the world. As he throws his head back and forth to see if anyone heard, elbow him in the eye.
5) Beat him to "The people's leg drop."
6) Hit him with the metal stapler in your jacket pocket. YOU KNOW, THE ONE YOU CARRY AROUND AT ALL TIMES FOR SITUATIONS LIKE THIS.
7) Start crying. And don't stop there. Tell him that you're real sorry and really scared right now. If he drops his defenses to point, kick to the throat. If he turns to walk away disgusted, kick to the throat.
8) Engage your Korn hard music inner self. Your blind, furious whirlwind of windmill arms and 'picking up change' action poses will kill him seven times over before he even hits the ground.
9) If you're into ska, have the other thirty kids in your band hide in dumpsters all along the alley. Signal the jump-in with a loud,"Rude boys unite!" battle cry. Later that evening, kill yourself and all your friends.
10) Projectile vomit into his eyes. Proceed to get medieval on his blinded, weeping ass.



Of de manier waarop ze omgaan met toegezonden mail - door het af te drukken:

From: "Bonnie Keller"
Subject: RE: NEW NEWS? NUDE NEWS? - Please remove - we are a elementary school!

This is a grade school - we did not request this newsletter. Please take us off of your list. If you are showing that someone from this address did sign up, please let me know who & when it occurred. Send info on who signed up to administrator@mail.sd148.k12.id.us.

Once again, please remove us from any mailing list that you have.

Thank you,
Administrator from Grace Elementary School.

Just like ODB said, Buddyhead is for the children! Start em out young! Also, if you are employed to teach the children of our nation well, you might want to know that your subject should have read, "we are AN elementary school" Your punishment? You stay on the list.
|| 12:42 p.m.